Monday, October 13, 2008

Nothing tugs at your heartstrings more than a loved one leaving you.No pretense,no holding back could hide it.

All of us felt sad watching her walk through the gate.She was waving back to us repeatedly as if to tell us"Hope to c u guys soon!" and that itself wld mean shes gg to b away for some while,out of our sight for awhile..I stupidly tried to hold back and convince myself not to cry because its not as if shes not coming back to singapore ever again,i told myself.I stood there,waving all the way since shes past the gate and till shes out of sight.She was turning ard and waving to us the whole time too.I commented that the last time we were here as a whole family to send her off my 2nd sis was pregnant.This time rd,my nephew was born and was present to send my 3rd sis off too.

After we turned our backs against the departure gates,i felt my mum kept searching my face,for some tears i presume.At that moment,im glad i didnt cry like a 7 yr old who cries at the slightest thing.But as we continue to walk away,I felt my eyes getting wet so i looked away to compose myself.Then i heard loud sobs and saw my mum, all red faced and tears streaming down her cheeks rapidly.I gave my mum an exasperated look, all for wasting my efforts to contain my emotion.I held her and told her its not as if my sis is not gonna come back ever.Right there,I cld feel an answer generated in my own brain going:But it still hurts that shes away.It was then my 2nd sis and I decided to let go too and we were all tearing madly.It was then I realised all of us have been holding back our tears.

Although she was back with us for a wk for her holiday,it saddens us that shes going to be alone in some foreign country,with nobody to rely on,nobody to care for her when shes sick or no one to listen to her after her hard day's work for some while.It was our 2nd time sending her off and this is one thing that never gets any better with more experience.

And this taught me I should never lie to myself abt the things i really do care about and curbing myself from showing my true emotions.And this taught me theres nothing wrong w crying like a 7 yr old.

flutter @ 1:05 AM