I felt like I was left behind as everybody started out on their little perfectly constructed path.Nobody looked back.I felt cold.It was heart-chilling.


Had 2 days of school last wk...It was pathetic!I felt quite upset that I have I have no friends and I made no new friends on the first day,not that i expected to.This is because my lessons are conducted in lecture style so I wont make myself go whisper into my neighbour's ears,trying to get them to talk about the nearly or more than 2 decades of life they have went thru.But break time was really sad because everybody just went for the break in groups,chatting loudly as they make their way past me,laughing hard and all looked happy.I know Im just sore :(

But Im enormously encouraged by the fact that the first day of school ends aft a 3 hour lecture and Im meeting Jingyi after school.I met up with her because we wanted to buy Julie's present in town before heading down to Julie's chalet tgt.She brought along Julie's nephew(who happened to be Jingyi's friend),Aik Nen, becuase hes also attending the chalet.It was like being with Kaiyin and Arthur because Jingyi is a little crazy but shes more out of control and Aik Nen is totally like Arthur!Just that Arthur is more subtle and contained.HAHA.Jing yi and Aik Nen just cant stop bitching about ppl and that is so funny seeing how bitchy Aik Nen can get.Its really like Mean Girls.We formed a group for the day with Jingyi the crazy bitch,Aik Nen the stupid bitch and me the freaked out bitch.Aik Nen was just so entertaining the whole day and actually it was just us calling him alot of stupid bitch the whole day because he really fits the bill.The group was just formed to assure him we all have our nicknames but actually we are just using the excuse to scold him stupid bitch all the time.The whole day we were just laughing madly and when we are on the train all of us got so hot because we laughed throughout the train ride from Cityhall to Pasir Ris and we just keep blaming Aik Nen for making us sweat.Jingyi and me decided we should not look at his face if we want to stop laughing and we kept making him to look away from us.hahaha Took cab home from chalet at 11plus and i ridiculously stayed up until 530am...It was me being stupid and i ended up not attending the morning lesson.It was a terrible thing to pon lesson on my 2nd day but im lucky the lesson was just revising the jc maths stuff. :S

2nd day of school was better with me making 2 friends.One wld be my PJ schoolmate,a councillor and karmun's fren.I know who she is but never talked to her so i think that wld count as making a new friend.HAHA Im desperate to increase the no. of new friends i have. :( If i want to be strict,then i made only 1 friend...this sweet girl from AJC.But I didnt get to talk much to her too...But thank god Karmun's with me the whole day because the lessons are just bearable when you are with someone you are familiar with :) Met up with Kian you at NP and we had terrible dessert.I cannot believe the desserts in NP are so cheap!50cents for bowl of bubur hitam(one of my fave dessert!),ice jelly,ice kachang...but I was looking for something cold and i went to order a bowl of Mango Sago which is $1.20 and i didnt even finish it because it resembled a bowl of vomit after a while.

I missed my sister so much!I hope she can come back soon...I need someone to talk to at home.My Mum is completely weird because when i want to talk to her and seriously want to know how she is feeling for the day,she just give short,useless answers in a irritated tone.Like for example,I would ask her:"So what did u do today and how was taking care of Ryan(my nephew)? because that qns would probably lead me to asking her so how is she feeling for the day and just basically converse with her.But she actually ruin my plan and just answer me in a curt tone:"OK lo." I probed further i would get another:"Dunno.","Ya.","No." =_=" I hate people dealing me the conversational killers because unless i made you angry or u really hate me from the start,i dont expect that from u. :( That would really upset my mood because i felt so rejected.haha That is why I think i should start training to talk to myself to deal with such situations when things would get awkward(for eg when u make a new fren and ur new fren is actually a selfish person becuz he/she refuses to grant u more than 2 words per answer or he/she is just stubborn because they decided to stick strictly with their aim of the day and that is to keep their lips tightly pursed-lets call them the offenders)I cannot understand why some people can just blabber on and on about themselves and just break the ice(in a sort of way) because at least there wld be no silence,the offenders would be kept entertained,the brave would not experience a sense of failure as they felt that they have conquered the offenders and are able to make a conversation with them(sort of) and that is a feat in itself!Because I was never one of those who emerged victorious.I shall start practising with myself how I can keep myself entertained and talk to myself for as long as possible because thats really a skill everyone should equip themselves with!Oh and back to my mum...she is so ridiculous because there are times when i would prefer to have some quiet time of my own or I do not feel like/cannot talk,she would pressed me for answers with all sorts of questions from what i ate today,what she should cook tmr,what are my grandparents and auntie doing next door(they live opposite us but i would know as much as her because both me n my mum are in our own hse and we are sitting next to each other watching tv--i wonder why she thinks i wld know the ans) to really ridiculous qns like what is my fren's sis's occupation or basically an extensive survey of my frens including their families.Just now,this auntie came and delivered cartons of stuff that my sisters ordered and was verifying with me the amout of cartons so as i was talking to the auntie,my mum casually asked me who is it and i answered her somebody delivering something here but because i was talking to the auntie i didnt elaborate and just kept my answer short.Apparently my mum didnt understand why is there a need for me to talk to strangers for more than 5 seconds or my mum was just too curious,she asked what is the person sending us? in her loud booming voice once n i ignored her because i think i can always tell her that aft i finish the conversation which spans probably at most a minute.But my mum is so impatient she pressed me for an answer by repeating herself thrice and as she continue asking the same qns,her volume increases exponentially each time.So it ended with my mum screaming her lungs out and it got to the pt the conversation cldnt continue btw me n the auntie because my mum is such a nuisance,both the auntie and me were so distracted, our voices actually drowned and we cldnt hear each other.I secretly think she actually does all this to irritate me and see my baffled/agitated face and she actually go back to her room and laughed out loud into her pillow about it.So you see my mum is really just a very mischievious old woman.


Im determined to join some cca in SIM and get myself as active as possible because i totally cannot stand being a loner :( JANET U LOSER.

flutter @ 9:58 PM

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