Its been so long since i got some me-time.Realised i have been thinking alot during meals that im having by myself at home or at work.I was so distracted to the extent that i could finish a whole plate of noodles that tastes bad compared to my low standards.I think its the lack of time i have for myself now that i have to invade into my meal times.Been working more now than usual as im based at earshot now so sometimes i would have to reach early and open the shop.Im not complaining since its money money money into my pocket!PAY DAY'S COMING AND IM EXTREMELY HAPPY.Im counting down!I missed home so much:( i have been getting home like at 12am everyday that i work except on tuesday when i met up with kelly,alison and darrell to have a catch up dinner before darrell gets ugly with his cleanly shaven head.haha.I rarely get to talk to anyone in the family!:( Mum look rather unhappy everyday when she scrunched up her face in anger and chided my nephew for almost every single thing he does(becuz every single thing he do is wrong and of a magnitude that requires spanking on his butt) I wish i can make her feel happier..umm but what?She dont go crazy over shoes,clothes,bag...shes not that kind of in mum..My mum is so into the mummy role that she doesnt care if she burn her fingers when she cooks and i always have to remind her how hot the metal pot is and she often handle it with her bare hands. =_=" She dont know how to take care of herself im so worried of her sometimes.Besides, she, like most other mothers,only left the best for her children,preferring to eat lesser,suffer more just so that we can enjoy the best.So i guess the best thing that will make my mum happy is a satisfactory A level results slip and im not able to produce that sadly(the mere mention of it makes me sad).Is my mum ever not gonna get happy because of the useless daughter she has? :(

Working at earshot has been much more enjoyable this week compared to the last.Last week at earshot,i felt pissed,angry,upset,miserable everyday after work because of the scoldings and the trauma inflicted upon me at work.I felt the scoldings were unreasonable and there were personal attacks and i felt so useless seriously.I toyed with the idea of quitting but i remembered how my mum and sis told me that not everyone is gonna be happy at where they are working and everyone seemed to be able to live with it.So theres gotta be some who just gritted their teeth and survived the terrible workplace and colleagues from hell.They told me that like 2 years ago when i was complaining to them about the I-lotus job.I remembered that and i thought to myself i must at least prove myself to be capable of the job first before i leave the place with pride.Or else i would be a loser who left because i cant handle the job.But i struggled with the idea of leaving too..as jackson,who is a very nice manager and is very nice to me asked me to help him out till may and i felt bad for leaving as he wanted me to help because he had trouble finding part timers.So i just bear with it,thinking the worst would be over soon.Then came the last straw on last saturday.I was scolded once again for a mistake which i dont think is my fault and i was feeling very pissed.At the moment at my peak of anger,the chef scolded the other manager(not jackson) who was mean to me.Thats it.I cannot stand people sympathasing with me!At least not in front of me when im feeling emotionally weak!I know the chef is nice and im not complaining that someone is on my side but please dont let me hear it.At the moment i hear him scolding the manager,i knew i was going to cry and i tried so hard to suppress the tears.Eventually I teared and had to go to the office to wipe the tears off.But as i was back-facing the chef and manager and facing the customers, 1 customer seemed to notice that i was tearing and she just kept staring at me.How sensitive of her.But when they were done with the "fight", the manager called me and when i turned around and saw them,i couldnt help but want to burst out crying so i told them i have stomache.Haha lame excuse right.I still clutch my stomach for effect.haha But apparently the chef saw through my little trick and came out and look for me.So loser me when toilet to cry.I was feeling stupid for crying over such thing and yes i know im weak.Crying over feeling sad for myself is so dumb and childish.and i bawled again when i saw the chef after i spend 15mins in the toilet to cool down.But the happy ending to this episode is that the manager is really nice to me now.She was very apologetic for being so mean to me and losing her fuse on me so many timesShe admitted that shes so short-tempered that she scolded away so many part-timers before me(no wonder jackson cant find anyone).Shes so nice now that i cringe when she talk to me in an extremely nice tone and put on a smile and say thank you after every sentence.but im getting used to it now and in fact,shes really a rather nice person too!haha a happy ending. :D

PAY DAY'S COMING!IM so happy i must remind myself of that everyday to get endorphins pumped up in me.hahaha I got to try max brenner's white choc drink ytd!gosh its heavenly!!!and its foc. ;) And the manager gave packets of white chocolate chips too.How lucky i am:) Working at earshot finally has its perks.haha

Im craving cheesecake ,donuts and a hearty breakfast now.That hearty breakfast crave havent been able to fulfil for quite some time already.Reason?Becuz i always sleep past 11am.Ok my bedtime's here.The next time i update,it shall be veryhappy janet or even delirious janet because i wld have gotten my pay by then :)

flutter @ 12:58 AM

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